You can call me Disturbed. So disturbed.

You know how there are those things you see on a daily basis that make you laugh so hard (but on the inside, because it's not appropriate to laugh that hard at something on tv outloud, like its your only friend,saving you from stepping outside the bubble of your cozy home and convenient whirly popper ready to make kettle corn at a moments notice)?

Well, I just had a reminder of something that I've seen daily, I think, and finally I thought to myself- enough is enough. I must write about this, I must share my amusement with others. For what reason, I don't know, but I feel he needs to be shared. Yes, I believe it's a he.He's certain to show up in my dreams, and possibly nightmares, now that I've devoted to him this much thought. You know,this should really be directed toward Denny's.

Dear Denny's people (I know you're probably too busy making fluffy pancakes from a mix that I can buy at the store, to put onto an undeniably sticky plate, which no one can explain since we all WANT to believe it has been washed and refuse to consider the alternative), but I want to share my joy, AND my disturbance with you.

Yes, I am disturbed. Yes, I am full of joy. And I want YOU Mr."I'm going to put strawberry,blueberry,raspberry,and maple syrup on EVERY table even though I know people only use the maple" to understand just why.

It's the nannerpuss.

He comes on my screen, all "You can call me Nannerpuss,Nannerpuss" and I instantly have to remove my head from my reduced fat Nilla Wafer/Cheez-it box (whatever I happen to have my head in at the moment) and watch him. It's almost as if he's speaking to ME. Like he knows, that I LOVE bananas,but I'm horrified of octopi..(Is that the plural of octopusses?)

So Mr."I'll make you wait for a table so you can eat your Grand Slam and then feel like you need to poop a submarine", as you can guess, I'm perplexed with my emotional complexity. Am I horrified? Do I want a banana? Does my fear MAKE me want a banana? I don't know. But Nannerpuss is causing me to want to hide all the bananas on my kitchen counter, and cut up my membership card to the aquarium- ALL AT THE SAME TIME.I don't know anymore. Maybe I should make my own nannerpuss, and then eat him, quelching my fear AND my hunger. Take THAT Dennys. TAKE THAT.

Witness the Madness!