I honestly thought to myself---what would happen...if I just yelled "SUCKAAAAAS!!" when the gate wouldn't close and ran through? I thought this aloud to Ed, and he thought I might get shot. To which I thought, "self, not a good idea". I DID however feed one of President Obama's pets. NO, not Bo Diddley, he's just the dog. I fed three of the president's squirrels a cookie, and they indeed promised me to do what they could to end world hunger once they got back into the whitehouse gates themselves. To which I responded "Two more cookies if you can promise to end the Iraq war NOW." They said they would see what they could do. So that was, in my opinion, a success.
Ed and I took one of those double decker tour buses while we were there. Yes, we were THOSE people. Let me say this- it was cold in DC, bordering on frigid. On the top of a double decker bus? It was antarctica, and I shared my seat with a penguin if you don't believe me. The wind was cutting and swift, and Ed and I were alarmed at just how red my nose could get at such temperatures. Still, we both said "MUST.SIT.ON.TOP.FOR.BEST.VIEW!." So sit on top we did. The best part of the double decker top deck was the dodging of random japanese cherry tree branches. It was like being whipped in the face with the executive branches of freedom! The bus had an announcement about said branches, yet people STILL went into shock and awe mode (as in AWW!That got my EYE!!)whenever one whipped them in the face. Ed would inadvertantly yell "WATCH YER EYEEEE!!" when he saw one coming at the tourists in front of us, and they did not, because they were too busy with LOOK!! A MARBLE COLUMN!! Still, it was fun to watch them get whacked, I'm not going to lie. I snickered to myself, and maybe a little bit outloud, if I'm being honest.
So, as were sitting on said tour bus, we noticed that fire trucks,police cars,ambulances and ANYTHING else that could make noise were surrounding us at every cross street. I went betweeen trying to find out what was going on, and ducking under the railing of the bus, thinking that perhaps a 12 ft monster cherry tree branch had taken over the city and was going to whip me in the face for my snickering any moment. So all of the tourists on the top are getting all antsy...they're all "What's going on?" "I need to catch the red bus!!!THE RED BUS LEAVES IN 5 MINUTES!! I wish I had bought a pretzel at the last block! These stupid buses stop for anything!!" And then Ed, being the genius that he is, throws it out there "WHAT IF ITS THE PRESIDENT?!" To which everyone went all currraaazy and got their cameras ready just in case.
So I was a bit late on the trend, and Ed turns to me and says "THE CAMERA~!~~THE CAMERA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I fumbled it out and Ed throws himself to the front of the bus, just in time to see the Presidential motorcade coming through. I lost my cool in these moments. I have never lurved a president as much as I lurve me some Obama, so when I saw the motorcycles, and then the black cars with the seal, I went 29 kinds of crazy. Poor Ed was trying to video tape, meanwhile, I'm screaming behind him "IT'S HIM!!!!OMG IT'S HIM!WAAAAAAAAVE!!!HE JUST HONKED!!OMG THE PRESIDENT HONKED AND WAAAAAAAAVED!!" and then it was over. Oy people. Just OY. It was the coolest thing ever. It made me want to thank those squirrels who had kindly told the president that I wanted to see him. It made me want a pretzel like the one I had the day before after the Holocaust museum (It was the size of 2 of my heads and soft as a pillow. Apparently the holocaust made me hungry. I'm just wrong like that.)It was cool.
All in all, our vacation was amazing. We ended up seeing Colin Powell speak on the front step of the Lincoln memorial.This too, had me a bit crazy. I began to wonder if maybe the government was eventually going to hunt me down, woo me with a pretzel, and send me to Guantanamo.
Couple this, with the fact that when I saw President Lincoln's top hat, I practically smooshed my nose into the glass so that I could REALLY see it. Stupid protective glass!!! That stuff was everywhere. I wanted to FEEL the real constitution- not look at it through GLASS! Granted, it would have crumbled beneath my finger tips, but apparently I'm a very sensory based tourist. Obviously, I had the thought of jumping out of my double decker bus when the president passed to chase after him and "feel the president" but again, this might not have been the smartest idea. I pictured myself again, in Guantanamo, asking for another pretzel, and a diet dr pepper if they didn't mind.
So that's that. Back home, and feeling quite lucky that I got to see the president in his car. I didn't feel him, but I am going to consult my squirrels on getting a handshake the next time I'm in town.
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